Before the match, Undertaker is backstage with Jonathan Coachman. He says he intends on winning the WWF Championship in tonght’s six-man tag match. Look, I had to do something to make this readable… Patterson is shown earlier in the night critiquing the dresses that he’s shown, saying he wants to look better than Brisco, as he’s the champion. It makes sense really. Also earlier in the night Coach laughed at Jerry Brisco for having to win the title back dressed as a woman. He says Patterson stole the title. He says he’s all man as his dress arrives and is asked if he wants the regular panties or crotchless kind. It’s the humor you only get on WWF Pay Per View, folks(!)
Jim Ross and Jerry “The King” Lawler are on commentary for this match.
Gerald Brisco is out first to Hulk Hogan’s entrance theme. The Fink is our ring announcer for this instant classic. It’s a main event anywhere in the country…. 20 years previous. I don’t recognise Patterson’s theme and he has a shopping trolley with toilet paper. Lawler makes a joke about Patterson’s sexuality and the bell hasn’t rung yet. Can you see why I want this out of the way? There’s also a teddy bear and a pillow for weapons. Pat Patterson takes the microphone from Fink and kisses him before calling Brisco a drag queen. He clearly doesn’t count because he’s wearing sneakers. He says he’ll throw the match and hugs Brisco before taking a cheap shot with his knee to start this off.
PAT PATTERSON © VS.
GERALD BRISCO
(Hardcore
Evening Gown match) – WWF Hardcore Championship
WWF King of the Ring 2000 (25th June 2000)
JR straight in there with “Geraldine Brisco” as Pat Patterson spanks the challenger and follows with a knee to the gut, Patterson stuffs a banana into Brisco’s mouth and gets some shots in before putting a sanitary towel in Brisco’s face. Gerald Brisco escapes the hell (lucky him) with a low blow and gets a shot with his shoe. They slug it out (as much as they can at this point in their lives) and the crowd is already chanting boring. Patterson with another knee to the midsection but he’s sent into the corner. Brisco with crotch chops before he hits a Bronco Buster on Patterson “that’s how much Brisco wants to win the title” Jerry Brisco with a War Dance as JR brings up his Native American heritage and I almost feel weird putting that into this match, he rips at Patterson’s dress and JR reminds us this is the strip to bra and panties stipulation. Patterson stuffed his bra! Anyway, Brisco hits the corner punches as Crash Holly runs down with a trash can as the crowd rush back to their seats from the convenience stands, he throws it in the ring before dragging Brisco to the mat. He kicks at Pat Patterson in the corner and tears at the dress. Crash cuts off Gerald Brisco, who has picked up the trash can and strips him too. Crash Holly picks up the trash can, knocks Patterson over the head with it and wins the championship and this match.
WINNER: CRASH HOLLY (NEW WWF Hardcore Champion)
This was terrible, the crowd was rightly dead until Crash showed up and took the title away from the ridiculous comedy mini-feud. I can’t imagine this selling many tickets to the show, or doing anything for their legacy. It was short, but they crammed every homophobic and cross-dressing joke in that they could, so if that's your thing I found your match, I guess? [DUD] 0/10
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