SGT. SLAUGHTER (C) VS. HULK HOGAN

 Howard Finkel brings out our celebrities for the main event. I’ll let you know how Americans knew them in 1991. Alex Trebek was an announcer on CBS in the early 60’s before moving to game shows from 1973 onwards. Regis Philiban is a television and radio personality, also for the previous 30 years. Recently on talk shows.

  In researching what I’ve already covered on this show, I see the celebrities got some interview time before the Dino Bravo vs Texas Tornado match (here).

  We also got a recap of the evil Middle Eastern sympathiser Sgt. Slaughter burning Hulk Hogan merchandise, but I bet Hogan still got his royalties. Hulk Hogan also got a promo with “Mean” Gene Okerlund before this match, where he says he’s done a 360. So he’s back where he began? That sounds like Hogan, to be honest.

Gorilla Monsoon, Bobby “The Brain” Heenan, and guest Regis Phillibin are on commentary for this match, Alex Trebek is our ring announcer, and Mary Maples is our guest timekeeper. It’s even the first thing mentioned in Maples’ career, but she is also known as being one of WWE Hall of Famer Donald Trump’s ex-wives.

SGT. SLAUGHTER © VS. HULK HOGAN (WWF Championship) 

WWF WrestleMania VII (24th March 1991)

SGT. SLAUGHTER © VS. HULK HOGAN(WWF Championship) 

WWF WrestleMania VII (24th March 1991)

  Hulk Hogan chases Slaughter and Adnan around ringside at the bell, Sgt. Slaughter talks some trash as he has the WWF Championship around his waist. Slaughter takes his time as the fans chant for Hogan. They lock up and jockey for position, the referee breaks them up in the corner but they go right back to it. Slaughter has the advantage in the corner, but Hulk Hogan shoves the champion across the ring.

  Sergeant Slaughter complains about a hair pull, which isn’t impossible but is unlikely. Hogan works a headlock until he gets sent off the ropes. Neither man budges as they collide with shoulder tackles. Slaughter drops down as Hogan hits the ropes, Hulk Hogan knocks Slaughter over with a shoulder tackle. General Adnan brings Slaughter to the floor. Hulk Hogan follows and strikes at Slaughter. General Adnan hits Hogan from behind and gets caught in Hogan’s grasp. Sgt. Slaughter hits Hogan with a steel chair to the back. Hogan brings Slaughter back into the ring with a finger wag and a head shake. Sgt. Slaughter begs off in the corner and catches Hogan with an eye rake. Slaughter measures Hogan with right hands and he sends Hogan’s head into the turnbuckle. Slaughter sends Hogan off the ropes into a back elbow, a closed fist hits Hogan as he’s shielded from the ref’s view in a headlock. Sgt. Slaughter uses a knee drop to Hogan’s arm in an oldschool move that I miss. Hulk Hogan rolls out of the way of an elbow drop, he connects with three right hands and drops Slaughter with a clothesline. General Adnan is dropped from the apron, Hogan knocks Slaughter back into the corner.

Hulk Hogan follows Slaughter across the ring with a running attack and hits an atomic drop for 2. Sgt. Slaughter goes back to the outside, but Hogan rakes his back before bringing the match back into the ring. Hulk Hogan sends Slaughter off the ropes into a forearm for 2. Hulk Hogan sends Slaughter’s head into the turnbuckles, Slaughter is sent across the ring into the turnbuckles and staggers out into a backdrop. Hulk Hogan sends Sgt. Slaughter into the corner and he clears the turnbuckles for the ring post. A slingshot sends Sgt. Slaughter into the ring post again, busting him open. Hulk Hogan attacks the open wound with right hand. Hulk Hogan sends the champion into the corner and follows him with a clothesline. Hulk Hogan connects with the 10 punches in the corner and sends the champion into the turnbuckles again, covering for 2. General Adnan grabs Hogan’s ankle as he goes to the middle rope, and it’s enough for Slaughter to hit Hogan in the midsection. Hogan slams Sgt. Slaughter and hits two elbow drops. General Adnan grabs the leg again, this time Sgt. Slaughter slams Hulk Hogan down to the mat. Sgt. Slaughter clotheslines Hogan over to the floor and sends him into the ring post.

Sgt. Slaughter grabs another chair, hitting Hogan over the back with it. Sgt. Slaughter chokes Hogan out with a television cable on the floor and sends Hogan back into the ring. Sgt. Slaughter connects with shots on Hogan’s back and hits a backbreaker across his knee for 2. Sgt. Slaughter thought he had it won, he stomps at Hogan as he realises the match is still going and he drags Hogan away from the ropes. Sgt. Slaughter tries to turn Hogan over for the boston crab, Hulk Hogan is close to the ropes, but can he see it? It takes him some time but Hogan reaches to his side for the rope. Sgt. Slaughter thinks he has it won again, and Hulk Hogan is too injured to capitalise. Sgt. Slaughter targets Hogan’s back again with knee strikes, It’s Slaughter’s time to go to the top rope, and he lands on Hogan’s kidney. General Adnan distracts the referee as Slaughter chokes Hogan and goes for the cover. Hulk Hogan kicks out at 2. Sgt. Slaughter goes back to the chair out of desperation, hitting Hogan in the head. Slaughter covers for 2 as we see Hogan is bleeding from the forehead. Hulk Hogan tries to escape the onslaught, but Sgt. Slaughter knocks him down with a clothesline. Sgt. Slaughter stands over Hogan, putting on the Camel Clutch!  Slaughter breaks the hold and stomps on Hogan’s back before going back to the hold. General Adnan cheers from ringside as the crowd tries to will Hulk Hogan to his feet.

Hulk Hogan makes it to his feet, Sgt. Slaughter sends Hogan into the corner and he grabs the Iraqi flag. Sgt. Slaughter drapes the flag over Hogan and he covers 1, 2, Hulk Hogan kicks out! He tears the Iraqi flag and Hulks up as Sgt. Slaughter tries to keep his momentum going. Hulk Hogan points the finger and connects with his combination of right hands. Sgt. Slaughter is sent off the ropes into the Big Boot and the Leg Drop gets Hulk Hogan the victory.

WINNER: HULK HOGAN (NEW WWF Champion)

 For a match that is over 35 years old, this was really good. The ending was predictable but the journey there was better than it had any right to be. Sgt. Slaughter and Hulk Hogan were able to do a lot with not much, and it meant the match didn’t drag on as much as it could have.  [***] 5.75 /10

No Way Out 2009 WWE Championship Elimination Chamber

 The opening video package reminded us what led to Randy Orton vs. Shane McMahon, JBL vs. Shawn Michaels, and the Elimination Chamber matches for the WWE and World Heavyweight Championships.

This is the opening match for No Way Out 2009, and the first participant on his way out to the Chamber is Undertaker. Big Show follows him, then Vladimir Kozlov (undefeated in singles competition at this point) Triple H is next and he spurs his water at Big Show’s pod. Angering a giant doesn’t seem like a great strategy, but Triple H has been in more Elimination Chamber matches than me so who knows? Jeff Hardy and Edge complete the set in that order, and they start the match. Fourteen minutes into the broadcast.

Jim Ross and Tazz are on commentary for this match, and our ring announcer is Justin Roberts.

EDGE © VS. UNDERTAKER VS. JEFF HARDY

VS. VLADIMIR KOZLOV VS. TRIPLE H VS. BIG SHOW

(WWE Championship Elimination Chamber

WWE No Way Out 2009 (15th February 2009)

Edge and Jeff Hardy start the match, which is convenient because they’re feuding currently. Jeff Hardy’s rematch clause is also being used in this match, as he lost the WWE Championship the previous month at Royal Rumble (thanks to a chairshot from Matt Hardy. Brotherly love…)

  Jeff Hardy goes straight after Edge, knocking him back into the corner. Hardy sends Edge off the ropes into a forearm before a pair of clotheslines. Edge reverses an irish whip and knocks Jeff down with a big boot.  The fans chant for Jeff Hardy as Edge covers for 2. A stiff right hand knocks Jeff down, Edge chokes Jeff across the middle rope before a running body press forces Jeff into the rope and down to the mat for 2. Edge sends Jeff Hardy into the turnbuckle in front of Big Show. Jeff Hardy is sent across the ring, but Edge runs into a headscissors, Jeff hits an inverted atomic drop and trips Edge. A leg drop to the “lower abdomen” is followed by a basement dropkick to a seated Edge. They counter each other’s finishers. Jeff Hardy hits the Twist of Fate, but Edge avoids the Swanton Bomb. Edge sets up for the Spear, but he gets caught in a small package for 3! Edge is the first person eliminated, and they play the shock to kill time. Charles Robinson is the referee in this match, whilst I get a chance to mention it. We’re guaranteed a new champion as Vladimir Kozlov joins the match and readjusts Jeff Hardy’s jaw with a big boot. It seems more natural when he does it, compared to Edge. Vladimir Kozlov throws Hardy into the corner and goes to town. Jeff gets his knees up on a shoulder thrust and dropkicks Kozlov in the knee. Vladimir Kozlov cuts off an attack from the middle rope.

  Jeff Hardy rolls out to the chamber floor, but Kozlov sends him into the chains. We see a replay of the battering ram that hit Jeff Hardy in mid-air, and Kozlov picks up Jeff, running him into the chain link side of the chamber. Jeff gets sent into the ring, and Kozlov covers for 2.  Vladimir Kozlov connects with right hands on the mat and places Jeff across the top turnbuckle for some headbutts to the kidney. Why the hell not? Vladimir Kozlov lines up Jeff for a running boot, and that’s impressive flexibility. Jeff Hardy is sent across the ring with a fallaway slam, and he kicks out at 2. Vladimir Kozlov hits a backbreaker for 2 before more mounted punches. Kozlov gets a waistlock on the mat, which gives us a chance to see a replay of the backbreaker. Jeff Hardy is able to get to his feet and break the hold with right hands, but he runs into a brick wall in Kozlov. I’m starting to wonder when the next guy is going to come in as Kozlov hits an elbow drop. Jeff Hardy slips out the back of a running powerslam, and he dropkicks Kozlov into the middle turnbuckle. Jeff Hardy hits the running dropkick in the corner to a seated Kozlov. Jeff Hardy takes a breather before covering, and he gets 2. Vladimir Kozlov plants his feet on the irish whip attempt and sends Jeff Hardy into the corner. Jeff is able to climb the turnbuckles and hit the Whisper in the Wind and Big Show enters the match. Apparently, the 5-minute period restarted at Edge’s elimination.

  Big Show connects with a body shot to Jeff Hardy in the corner before throwing him across the ring. Big Show steps over Jeff Hardy and connects with a headbutt. Jeff is knocked into Vladimir Kozlov, who had been resting in the corner. Kozlov headbutts Jeff in the sternum. Big Show hits Jeff in the midsection, and Kozlov follows with a knee. They’re trying to one-up each other, using Jeff as a target. Commentary catches on at the same time as I do, Big Show slams Jeff, and Kozlov follows suit. Jeff Hardy is brought back to his feet by Big Show, and he starts to fight back. Jeff Hardy breaks free from Big Show’s grasp and knocks Kozlov back into the corner. Big Show knocks Hardy down with a headbutt. Kozlov hits an elbow drop, Big Show connects with an overhand chop to Hardy’s chest as JR says Big Show hasn’t left his feet yet. Vladimir Kozlov and Big Show stare eachother down before Big Show throws Jeff into the corner. Vladimir Kozlov is still staring a hole into Big Show as Show connects with another overhand chop on Hardy. Big Show turns around into a running shoulder tackle from Kozlov. Big Show gets to his feet and they lock up Big Show sends Kozlov back, and they exchange strikes. This was at the point where Big Show was afraid to hit people in the face because he broke Floyd Mayweather’s nose, but he still got the better of Kozlov.

  Vladimir Kozlov blocks a suplex but is backed into the turnbuckles as the countdown to entrant #5 begins. Vladimir Kozlov dodges a running splash and connects with shoulder thrusts. Big Show plants his feet and counters the irish whip, knocking Kozlov down with a terrible clothesline as Triple H enters the match. Triple H ducks a right hand from Big Show and connects with some of his own. Big Show sends Triple H into the ropes but gets caught with the facebuster on Triple H’s knee. Triple H ducks a clothesline from Kozlov and hits the “Harley Race High Knee” as JR used to call it. I haven’t seen many Harley matches, but I don’t think I’ve seen him use that move. Triple H goes back to Big Show in the corner, Big Show uses his weight advantage to send Triple H into the corner but the running splash hits the turnbuckles again. Triple H hits the Spinebuster! Jeff Hardy has woken up but his Twist of Fate is countered, Triple H knocks Jeff down with a clothesline. Vladimir Kozlov charges at Triple H but gets low-bridged. Triple H follows Kozlov out of the ring but Kozlov blocks the chain-link chamber. Vladimir Kozlov runs into the support beam for one of the pods, and Triple H thinks he has an opportunity to hit the Pedigree. Big Show grabs Triple H’s hair, which is as extreme as you can expect and Elimination Chamber to be in the PG Era. Big Show brings Triple H back into the ring with an overhand chop, and neither Jim Ross nor I is sure how good a strategy that is in this match, even for Big Show.

  Vladimir Kozlov crawls back into the ring and targets Jeff Hardy as Big Show keeps Triple H in the corner. Big Show sends Triple H into the ropes, but he connects with a knee lift on Big Show. Big Show catches Triple H in a sidewalk slam as Kozlov connects with right hands on Hardy in the corner. Big Show covers for 2 as Undertaker gets impatient in his pod. Triple H tries to fight back in the corner, but Big Show connects with an overhand chop. Jeff Hardy seems to have no fight in him right now. The crowd chants for Undertaker as Triple H counters a Chokeslam and connects with right hands. Triple H hits the ropes but gets lifted over Big Show’s head and slammed to the mat. That’s at least 12 feet in WWE measurements. Big Show headbutts Triple H, and he staggers out of the ring. Jeff Hardy swings the momentum back his way in the background as Triple H meets the side of the chamber. Jeff Hardy goes high risk, but he lands in Big Show’s arms. Big Show plants Jeff next to Triple H, but they both move out of the way of the running splash. That move really isn’t working for Big Show tonight. Triple H and Jeff Hardy crawl back into the ring, they both duck a clothesline from Kozlov, and they hit a double suplex on him. Jeff Hardy hits the Whisper in the Wind on Triple H as we begin the 10-second countdown to Undertaker entering the match.

  Undertaker charges at Big Show, attacking with lefts and rights on his way to the ring. Kozlov eats some shots from ‘Taker too before being sent into the corner. Undertaker hits a rough-looking Snake Eyes on Kozlov, but the running Big Boot goes without a hitch. Undertaker hits a running clothesline in the corner on Triple H and Jeff Hardy, goozles them both and allows Vladimir Kozlov to run into a Big Boot. Big Show is pissed off that Undertaker can hit something in the corner and he interrupts the double Chokeslam attempt. Undertaker is sent off the ropes by Big Show, but he ducks the clothesline and hits his jumping variation. Undertaker sits up for the pop. Undertaker softens up Triple H’s shoulder and climbs the ropes for the Old School, but he jumps into Big Show and hits a DDT on the Chamber floor. Undertaker hits the Old School on Triple H now there’s no distraction on the outside, and follows up with a Big Boot to Jeff Hardy. Vladimir Kozlov knocks Undertaker down and connects with bodyshots and shoulder blocks in the corner. Kozlov climbs to the middle rope and connects with right hands and elbows to Undertaker, but he gets eliminated with the Last Ride out of the corner for 3.

  Big Show Chokeslams the Undertaker, but he has nothing left to capitalise. Triple H attempts a Pedigree but is sent over the top to the steel floor. Just as Triple H makes it back to his feet, Big Show launches Jeff Hardy at him, but Jeff lands high on the cross body. Big Show exits the ring and sends Triple H into the chains. Jeff Hardy climbs to the middle rope. Big Show tries to send him into the side of the chamber, but Jeff catches himself and gets to the roof of a pod. Big Show gets in the pod and pulls Jeff Ankle through the gaps in the chains. Big Show makes his way to the middle rope to keep up the pressure on Jeff Hardy. Undertaker breaks up the party and superplexes Big Show. That’s 700lbs from the corner to the middle of the canvas. Triple H hits a Pedigree on Big Show, Jeff Hardy makes it to his feet and hits the Swanton Bomb from the top of the pod. Triple H covers Big Show for 3. Triple H connects with right hands to Undertaker in the corner, Undertaker switches with Triple H in the corner and connects with his combination of punches before sending Triple H into the turnbuckle and out to the chamber floor. Undertaker tries the Old School on Jeff Hardy, but Triple H hits the rope to cut him off.

  Jeff Hardy jumps off of Undertaker’s back into Triple H, like a reluctant Poetry in Motion. Undertaker lifts Jeff Hardy back into the ring and hits the Tombstone Piledriver for 3. Either Triple H or Undertaker will leave this match as the WWE Champion as we see a replay of the Tombstone. Triple H and Undertaker face off. Triple H runs into a Big Boot. Undertaker goes back to strikes in the corner, taking his time as if it’s his entrance. Undertaker misses a running boot and goes over the top to the floor. Triple H send Undertaker into the side of the chamber and climbs to the top rope, as Undertaker crawls into the ring. Triple H lands in the goozle and is Chokeslammed for 2. Undertaker sends Triple H into the corner but runs into his boot. Undertaker hits the Snake Eyes but runs into a Spinebuster. Triple H cover,s but Undertaker kicks out at 2. Undertaker drags Triple H out of the ring but gets sent into the chains. Undertaker trips Triple H on the Pedigree and catapults him into the chains. Undertaker lifts Triple H onto his shoulder, Triple H shifts his weight as they lean back in the ring and they counter Tombstone attempts until Undertaker hits one. 1, 2, Triple H gets his foot on the bottom rope at 2.9! We get a replay because the crowd counted 3, and it was close. Triple H hits the Pedigree, Undertaker’s turn to kick out at 2.999. Triple H and Undertaker exchange right hands, Triple H gets knocked down but reverses the irish whip.

  Triple H connects with mounted right hands in the corner. Undertaker walks him out for the Last Ride, but Triple H is able to slip out of it. Triple H hits the Pedigree for the 3 and wins the WWE Championship. 

WINNER: TRIPLE H (NEW WWE Champion)

 This was a decent Elimination Chamber. The shock early-exit of the champion did limit the likely winners, but they were able to keep the suspense throughout the match. Vladimir Kozlov did give us a couple of rough moments, but it wasn’t anything too drastic and he looked dominant for a good portion of the match. [***1/2] 7/10

After the match, Edge complains to Vicki Guerrero backstage about his elimination, but Vickie says it’s his fault and he lost. She apologises immediately, but it’s difficult not to agree with her.  

CHARLOTTE (C) VS. NIKKI BELLA

 Before the match, JoJo has an interview with Roman Reigns. Dean Ambrose is standing by to interrupt. They get into it between themselves until JoJo reminds them that they also have Brock Lesnar to worry about.

  The video package shows Nikki Bella’s and Daniel Bryan’s recent injuries. Charlotte has used them to get heat and try to get Brie to forfeit this match, so Brie is coming into this emotional.

  Brie is out first as the challenger, Charlotte follows with the WWE Divas Championship around her waist and Ric Flair by her side. Charlotte beat Nikki Bella 153 days previous in September.

John “Bradshaw” Layfield, Michael Cole, & Byron Saxton are on commentary for this match. Lillian Garcia is our ring announcer

CHARLOTTE (C) VS. BRIE BELLA (WWE Divas Championship

Fastlane 2016 (21st February 2016)

They lock up, Charlotte backs Brie into the corner and breaks, back to the collar-elbow tie up and Charlotte slams Brie down into the mat before mocking her and D-Bry with the “Yes” chants. Brie chases down Charlotte, but the champion leans out of the ring so Bella has to back off.

   Brie Bella puts Charlotte in a top wristlock, Charlotte tries to reverse the direction, pulling on Brie’s hair but she ends up on the mat. Charlotte counters with a headscissors, but Brie rolls out of it and connects with right hands as JBL mocks Byron at ringside. Brie Bella takes Charlotte down and puts her in an armbar, another headscissors gets Charlotte out of it and sends Bella across the ring. Brie Bella sends Charlotte across the ring with an arm drag and mocks Ric Flair with a “Woo” and a strut. Brie hits a Snapback, one of Nikki Bella’s moves, for 2. Brie connects with a roundhouse kick, but Charlotte escapes to the apron, bringing Brie out to the floor with another headscissors. Back in the ring, Charlotte gets some shoulder thrusts in the corner. Brie is carried to the middle of the ring, but she blocks an Alabama Slam and rolls through for 2. Charlotte runs through Brie as they get to their feet. Charlotte takes her time before covering and only gets 2.

  Charlotte drives her knee into Brie’s back and pulls her arms back, moving her boot into the back of Brie’s neck. Brie is able to fight to her feet, but Charlotte sends her down to the mat. Charlotte grabs Brie’s hair, but Brie brings Charlotte down to the mat and rolls her into a crucifix for 2. Brie Bella jumps on Charlotte’s back for a sleeper hold as they get to their feet. Charlotte drops Brie with a jawbreaker and covers for 2. Charlotte slams Brie’s head into the mat, keeping Brie down with a Figure Four necklock. Charlotte rolls through a few times in the hold before releasing and kipping up. Charlotte charges but Brie avoids the boot. Charlotte hesitates with the shock and tries again. Brie catches her with a drop toe hold and a running knee. Charlotte gets to her feet, and Brie Bella connects with a combination of forearm shots for 2!

  Charlotte fires back with chops, she ducks under a shot from Brie Bella, dropping into a neckbreaker. Brie Bella gets 2 from a rough roll up. Charlotte knocks Brie down and calls for the Figure Four, but Brie kicks her out to the apron. Brie Bell knocks Charlotte to the floor with a dropkick. Brie Bella flies out of the ring with another dropkick, and she throws Charlotte back in the ring. Brie Bella hits a missile dropkick from the top rope, but she’s tweaked her knee. She hits the “Yes” Kicks but Charlotte ducks the big one. Brie hits the Facebuster but still only gets 2. Charlotte trips Brie with the bad leg, but the Figure Four is countered into the Yes Lock.

  Charlotte tries to reach for the rope with her legs so Brie transitions into a single leg boston crab. Brie has it locked in for some time before Charlotte is able to kick her into the middle rope and catch her with the Figure Four, Charlotte bridges up for the Figure Eight and Brie taps out.

WINNER: CHARLOTTE (STILL WWE Divas Champion)

 This was a decent match. I don’t think the “emotional Brie” storyline was needed, it just gave her a reason to use Nikki and Daniel Bryan’s moves for a pop. Nothing terrible, but there’s a reason I didn’t remember much of it before this review. [***] 5.5/10

BETH PHOENIX (C) VS. MELINA

 

Before the match, Randy Orton is shown entering the arena earlier tonight. Then we get a view of Detroit as “Let it Rock” by Kevin Rudolf (tonight’s theme tune) plays. Melina makes her way out first with the red carpet and photographers. She holds two fur coats like MNM used to wear to begin her entrance, and Lawler talks about how popular Melina’s entrance is as she does the splits on the apron. Melina won a 6 Divas battle royal to earn this title shot. Beth Phoenix has Santino Marella and her Slammy for the Diva of the Year 2008 along with her WWE Women’s Championship.

Michael Cole & Jerry “The King” Lawler are on commentary for this match, Lillian Garcia is our ring announcer.

BETH PHOENIX © VS. MELINA (WWE Women's Championship)

WWE Royal Rumble 2009 (January 2009)

  They lock up and Beth Phoenix easily sends Melina to the mat. Melina locks in a headlock, but Beth powers free and sends Melina over her shoulder.

  Beth Phoenix ragdolls Melina around in a waistlock, but Melina breaks free and connects with a dropkick. Beth Phoenix runs through Melina with a shoulder tackle and knocks Melina into the ropes with a European uppercut before sending her off the ropes. The challenger tries to take Phoenix down with an armbar off the tilt-a-whirl, but Beth Phoenix is able to stay on one knee. Beth Phoenix lifts Melina whilst in the armbar and drops her across the top turnbuckle. Melina catches Phoenix with a back elbow and climbs up to the electric chair. Beth Phoenix drops Melina as Santino celebrates at ringside. Beth Phoenix hits a running hip attack in the corner and brings Melina away from the ropes with a rough landing. Phoenix covers, but only gets 1. Beth Phoenix locks in an inverted crab. Melina almost makes it to the bottom rope, but Phoenix drags her back to the middle of the ring, bending Melina’s leg back to kick her with her own foot.

  When Melina tries to get to her feet, Phoenix knocks her down with another boot. Melina uses the ropes to get to her feet and balance whilst she kicks at Beth Phoenix, but Melina walks into a sidewalk slam for 2. Beth backs Melina into the corner and sits her on the top turnbuckle. Beth Phoenix lifts Melina overhead, but Melina escapes and drops to her back in some kind of botch. Melina stuns Beth with a jawbreaker and fights to her feet with forearm shots. Melina slides under a clothesline but gets picked up. Melina struggles through a sunset flip 1,2, Phoenix kicks out! Melina drop toeholds Beth into the middle rope and hits the double knees to the back. Melina hits the screaming faceplant and covers for 2. Beth Phoenix sends Melina into the corner, but runs into the boots. Melina hits a senton from the middle rope, and a mule kick keeps some distance from Phoenix.

  Melina tries for a leg lariat move, but Phoenix ducks under it and chops Melina. Melina gets caught in a wheelbarrow but is able to roll through to another sunset flip for the win.

WINNER: MELINA (NEW WWE Women’s Champion)

Well, that match existed. It was just shy of 6 minutes, but did everything it could to feel longer. Beth Phoenix is a glim light in the darkness of the “Model Era” divas, and she couldn’t carry Melina through this match post-injury.  [DUD] 1/10

GOLDUST & CODY RHODES (C) VS. NEW AGE OUTLAWS

 This match was during the 2014 Royal Rumble preshow. The panel for the preshow was Jim Duggan, Shawn Michaels, Ric Flair, & Josh Matthews.

 John “Bradshaw” Layfield, Jerry “The King” Lawler, & Michael Cole are on commentary for this match, Lillian Garcia is our ring announcer

  The challengers enter first, and Road Dogg gets some mic time before the match to wake up the crowd. Billy Gunn gets the microphone to put the exclamation point on it before a strange Rhodes Brothers mash-up theme plays and The Grandsons of the Plumber make their way down. As the bell rings, we have just passed the halfway point of the show. (14:28 left on the countdown).

GOLDUST & CODY RHODES © VS. NEW AGE OUTLAWS

WWE Tag Team Championships

WWE Royal Rumble 2014 Preshow (26th January 2014)

Road Dogg starts with Cody Rhodes. Rhodes is forced back into a neutral corner as they lock up, but he trips Road Dogg and shows some amateur wrestling.

  Cody Rhodes is sent off the ropes but he knocks down Road Dogg with a shoulder tackle. Road Dogg catches Cody with a kick, fighting out of the corner, and he connects with his jab combination. Cody ducks the final shot but Road Dogg strikes first. Cody Rhodes reverses an irish whip but doesn’t notice the tag. Both Outlaws get sent out to the floor. Goldust hits a somersault senton on Road Dogg from the apron. Cody Rhodes hits a plancha from the top rope to the floor as we go to a break. The video package explains the Royal Rumble match, 30 guys, 1 winner etc. before hyping Batista’s return in this year’s match.

  As we come back, Goldust and Road Dogg are legal in the match. Road Dogg slaps Goldust and puts him in a chinlock on the mat. Goldust fights to his feet but eats shit on a dropkick. Road Dogg covers for 2 as Goldust ends up in the wrong corner. Road Dogg shoves Goldust into the turnbuckles, Goldust fights out and hits a Code Red! That took a lot out of Goldust, though, and it allows Billy Gunn to make the tag. Gunn sends Goldust into the corner and covers for 2. Goldust is sent back the other way, Billy Gunn motions that the New Age Outlaws want another Tag Team Championship reign, but he walks into a snap powerslam by Goldust.

Both teams make the tag, Cody Rhodes knocks Road Dogg down with clotheslines, he hits the drop-down punch and sends Road Dogg off the ropes. Road Dogg ducks a clothesline, but not the kick that followed. Billy Gunn is drawn into the ring with a “Suck it” and he throws Cody over the top rope, Cody Rhodes lands on the apron and hits a double dropkick to the Outlaws. Cody knocks Billy Gunn out of the ring but turns around into the Pumphandle. Cody counters Road Dogg’s slam into a  Cross Rhodes! Cody covers, but Billy Gunn breaks it up at 2. Goldust makes an appearance as Billy gets back to his corner, Billy Gunn sends Goldust into the barricade before getting a blind tag.

Cody Rhodes hits Road Dogg with a springboard kick from the middle rope, not quite a disaster kick, but Billy Gunn hits the Fame Asser on Cody for the win.

WINNERS: THE NEW AGE OUTLAWS (NEW WWE Tag Team Championships)

 . This was a pretty good match, The New Age Outlaws’ prematch schtick gave the fans something to be in their seat for and the match was basic, but worked well. Getting in and out before it dragged. [*3/4] 3/10

After the match we’re 6 minutes and 50 seconds away from the Royal Rumble Pay Per View so we go back to the panel for a quick catch up and final push towards the show.

MANKIND VS. STEVE AUSTIN

 This match follows the WWF Women’s Championship match (reviewed here). Mankind makes his way out first; he is the current WWF Hardcore Champion. We go through Mankind’s matches so far, and it’s safe to say that he’s had an easy ride so far. Steve Austin makes his way out, and he’s on the other side of the scales. Austin limps out to the ring, and it looks like his left arm is hurt too.

Jim Ross & Jerry “The King” Lawler are on commentary for this match, and Howard Finkel is our ring announcer.

MANKIND VS. STEVE AUSTIN

(Deadly Games Semi-Final)

WWF Survivor Series 1998 (15th November 1998)

  Steve Austin starts the match by kicking and punching Mankind in the corner before removing his jacket and shoes. This is not a Tuxedo match. Austin knocks Mankind down, hitting him with his own shoe.

  Mankind is placed across the middle rope so Austin can hit what Wrestling Bios calls the “running teabag”, and I don’t have a better name for it. The fans start booing as Mr. McMahon is wheeled out by Pat Patterson, Gerald Brisco and Sargeant Slaughter are there too. Back in the ring, Stone Cold sends Mankind’s head into the turnbuckle until Mankind reverses the momentum. But we miss parts of the sequence because we have to see progress of how close McMahon and Co. are to ringside. Mankind stomps on Austin before utilising some chokes and shots to Austin’s throat. JR mentions that Mankind had his fingers extended as Mankind hits his running knee on Austin, who’s slumped in the corner. Mankind hits Austin with his dress shoe, but Austin is sent off the ropes, and he hits the Lou Thesz press. Austin hits the running elbow but Mankind shoves away the Stunner attempt and goes out to the floor and sprints up the entranceway, but he is brought back to ringside. Steve Austin meets them partway and sends Brisco and Patterson’s heads into each other. I can hear Gorilla Monsoon calling that a Noggin Knocker.

Steve Austin knees Mankind in the midsection, but Mankind backdrops out of a piledriver, with Austin landing on concrete. Mankind sends Austin into the ring steps. He gets back in the ring but interrupts the count and sends Austin into the crowd, Mankind is sent back over the barrier to ringside, but he sends Austin’s head into the ring steps. Mr. McMahon looks pissed off as Mankind brings it back into the ring and covers Austin. 1,2, kickout at 2.9! Mankind sits on Austin’s back for the chinlock. Austin makes it back to his feet and escapes with elbow shots to the ribs, Steve Austin and Mankind exchange right hands. Austin sends Mankind off the ropes, Mankind ducks the first clothesline, but we have a double-down. They both make it to a vertical base, Austin backs Mankind into the corner, Mankind reverses the irish whip but gets knocked down as Steve Austin rebounds out of the corner. Steve Austin stomps a Mudhole into Mankind in the corner, then leaves the ring. He pulls Mankind towards the corner by the ankles but Mankind pulls Austin into the ringpost.

Mankind sends Austin back into the ring before fetching a chair. Steve Austin is on his feet in the corner and he kicks the chair into Mankind’s face. Mankind slumps across the middle rope but he avoids the running teabag. Austin landed on the chair, but he doesn’t have a chance to sell it before Mankind hits the double-underhook DDT on the chair. Fuck disqualifications for this match. Steve Austin kicks out just before 3! Mankind calls for the piledriver, but Austin is able to counter, backdropping Mankind on to the chair. Austin hits a Stunner! It seems to have worked, McMahon is stunned. McMahon and Slaughter stop the referee counting 3. Mr. McMahon decks the referee as Slaughter holds him, then McMahon and Sgt. Slaughter get some kicks in. Steve Austin has his attention turned to ringside, so Mankind attacks from behind. Another Stunner attempt is countered, Austin is sent off the ropes into the Mandible Claw! Austin gets out of it with a low blow to set up another Stone Cold Stunner and he covers again. Shane McMahon slides into the ring (he had just been made a “lowly referee” he refuses to count the 3 and flips Austin the double-bird as he gets out of the ring.

JR is livid that Austin should have won the match twice already as Mankind reverses an irish whip and knocks Austin down. Gerald Brisco gets in the ring and hits a terrible chair shot as Slaughter holds Austin. Mankind covers for the cheap win.

WINNER: MANKIND

This was a good match until the last 10 seconds. It all made sense for the story at the time, but the interference from wrestlers that were relevant a decade previous was just as annoying at this point in time as it is in present day wrestling to me. Not their best work, but it was going to have limitations from the format. [*1/2] 3/10

After the match, Steve Austin follows McMahon and friends backstage, he borrows a car from someone in the parking lot and follows McMahon’s limo before we throw back to commentary