Damn. I thought I would be clever and pre-pick my reviews, part of being organized and all that. On first glance, this looked like it could have been an interesting match. Then I read who Norman the Lunatic was. With the 1990's just creeping in coming up to this event, the world wasn't as Politically Correct as it is now. If you remember Eugene from 2004-2005 Raw, imagine him a decade and a half earlier (if you had forgotten about Eugene until now, I apologize.) Jim Ross and Terry Funk are your announce team for this match. Norman the Lunatic would go on to be The Bastion Booger in WWF. He's backstage with Missy Hyatt before the match. Hyatt looks a lot like Norman's sister, but his sister's bigger. Norman says his sister would give him a hug for luck if she was here, so Hyatt hugs him and hopes it helps. He thinks a kiss would help and gets a peck on the cheek, but Hyatt's saved by the ring bell before having to give him more luck on the lips. Cactus Jack Manson enters first. Norman is billed from “The State Hospital” and goes around collecting teddy bears from the crowd before the match. I wish I was making this up. Jim Ross says he's cut down from 386lbs to 384 for this match, so he's been training hard in an impressive burn. Norman throws the giant teddy into the crowd, and a grown man looks strangely happy to have caught it.
NORMAN THE LUNATIC VS. CACTUS JACK
JCP WrestleWar 1990 (25th February 1990)
Cactus Jack jumps Norman at the bell, pummeling him with rights and forearms. Jack chokes Norman across the top rope, releasing before he's disqualified. Norman gets sent across the ring, running into a back elbow for a nearfall. Norman powers out of the cover, sending Cactus out to the floor, the fans chant for Norman as Ross and Funk joke around on commentary, making every joke possible about it being a “special attraction” as Norman gets back into the ring. Norman gets some offense in, clubbing Jack over the back. Cactus Jack gets sent across the ring and runs into a clothesline. He gets to his feet in the corner, fighting back with rights to Norman's head. Obviously, that does nothing because he's a lunatic. The turnbuckle pad doesn't do anything either so Norman shows Jack how hard his head really is, dropping him with a headbutt. Cactus Jack gets clubbed on the back and drops to his knees. Norman sends Jack across the ring, hitting him with a back elbow. Cactus Jack gets to his feet in the corner but is sent hard across the ring. Cactus Jack walks into a clothesline.
Norman holds Cactus Jack in a bearhug before forcing him into the corner. Norman prefers the view on the other side, sending Jack over there, following to sandwich him in the corner. Cactus Jack flops down to the mat, Norman picks up Cactus Jack's lifeless body and sends him from corner to corner, Cactus Jack gets sent so hard into the corner on the third irish whip he goes all the way over to the floor. Norman follows Cactus out of the ring and sends his head into the side of the ring. Cactus Jack rakes the eyes and sends Norman's head into the guardrail. His head isn't hard enough to withstand that, so much. However, it doesn't damage him too much to send Cactus Jack over into the crowd. Norman gets back in the ring at 8, with Cactus Jack somehow on his feet in the crowd. Jim Ross and Terry Funk can't get over Jack's resiliency as Norman hits him with another headbutt, dropping him from the apron to the floor. Norman again follows but gets sent into the ring post.
Cactus Jack hits possibly the only running dropkick in his career and the camera MISSES IT! We see his boots hit Norman but that's it. Cactus Jack gets back in the ring, ready to meet Norman with a right hand as he stumbles to the apron. Cactus Jack boots Norman and hits him with a forearm to the chest. A knee to the back sends Norman back out to the floor. He beats the count back in but Jack sends his face into the mat. Funk and Ross are talking about Norman's favourite movie, The Wizard of Oz. Cactus Jack pulls at Norman's face before booting and kneeing him in the midsection. Manson bites at Norman's forehead Cactus Jack eventually covers but only gets two. Cactus Jack applies a chinlock on the mat, Norman breaks Jack's grip but Cactus Jack knees him in the back, keeping control of the match. Cactus Jack knocks himself silly headbutting Norman, Norman knocks Jack into the corner with headbutts of his own. They exchange rights in the corner. Jack sends Norman across the ring and boots him in the gut, covering for 2.
Norman powers out but is caught in a reverse chinlock on the mat again as Jim Ross seriously talks about stamina. Cactus Jack transitions to a modified camel clutch, but Norman lifts him in an electric chair, it took a second but they recovered nicely. Cactus Jack is dropped on the back of his head but avoids a big splash, immediately going back to biting the forehead. Norman escapes to the ropes so Cactus chokes him on the middle rope. Cactus Jack cannonballs across Norman's back, then goes back to the choke hold. Terry Funk calls going for it again a mistake and he's proven right as Cactus Jack sends himself through the ropes to the apron. Norman hits another headbutt to Jack and brings him in the ring. Norman hits clubbing blows and rights before sending Cactus Jack across the ring. Cactus Jack is back body dropped but rakes Norman's eyes as he gets back to his feet. Cactus Jack attempts a piledriver but can't lift Norman, getting sent back overhead with another backdrop. Norman kneels on a sunset flip attempt, getting the pin.
WINNER: NORMAN
Norman celebrates his win as Funk sounds pleased for him.
In the words of one Vince Russo, “swerve bro!” I went in expecting Norman the Lunatic to be a hardcore type of guy, Leatherface or Jigsaw type lunatic, not what I actually got. It brought a fun new dynamic to the match for me though and I was able to enjoy it. Cactus Jack looked resilient, taking everything Norman had (although he couldn't process how much that was) and Norman got a win to keep the fans happy. The match worked on both accounts. – WORKRATE: 1.5/5 PERSONAL ENJOYMENT 2/5 OVERALL 3.5/10
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